One of the rules of “blogging” is that you are not supposed to talk about co-workers. The reason being: there is a chance that they may read your published blog and it could cause hard feelings. However, I’m going to blog about a co-worker because a) he thinks computers are evil and would never read this anyway and b) I am about to ring his neck and I am hoping this will give me a chance to vent.
Never, in just about any setting, is it appropriate to refer to the act of washing dishes as “women’s work.” Maybe 50 years ago, some would consider this statement appropriate. Maybe if you were joking with someone who actually liked you and knew that you were joking, it might also be alright. In 2008, in a professional engineering consulting office, it is most certainly not ok; actually, it is pretty f-ed up.
Every time I wash a coffee cup, a bowl from lunch or a utensil and said co-worker happens to find himself in the kitchen at the same time, he makes the exact same comment to me: “a woman’s work is never done.” Anyone that knows me would never consider me a feminist and if I was actually this guy’s buddy, I might find that statement humorous. However, in his case, I know that he truly means what he says. I usually have some sort of smart come back (I asked him if he “was going to go home and beat his wife after work” one day) but every time, there is no indication of remorse on his part. It is as if he does not hear me speak back. I guess he also believes that women are to be seen and not heard. On today’s encounter, he also asked me if my boss had told me that – that a women’s work was never done, to which I replied, “no, Mike has never told me that because he isn’t a chauvinist pig.” Any normal person would have realized that they had offended me but this guy replies, “actually it’s a mother’s work that is never done,” and then he walked away.
I guess I should attempt to characterize the offender, for anyone who does not hold the pleasure of his acquaintance. This guy is an old, white engineer. He tells one-sided stories that last for 30 minutes or more. The other person involved in the “conversation”, does not invite the interaction, rather has it forced upon them and are only able to respond with a few mmm-hmmm’s and only able to escape by receiving a phone call that must last at least 5 minutes or more (he’ll wait to make sure he can’t finish his story after you hang up). Perhaps the most entertaining detail of his stories, is how he believes that technological advances have made us (the worker bee’s) less efficient. Most importantly are the downfalls of computing: computers are always losing stuff, the internet or solitare can distract people from actual work and it is much easier and faster for everyone to produce the same type of work with a pencil and paper than with a computer and printer. In my field, we use computer aided drafting/drawing – this has been an industry standard for over 20 years, yet he still feels and will always feel that paper and pencil are far superior to AutoCAD or Microstation. I won’t go into exactly why he feels this way because I usually put my head phones in when he starts up this “conversation” with someone around me. My biggest problem with him (besides the fact that he still thinks it is 1950 and that I should be at home, making babies and cooking dinner) is that he doesn’t get how inefficient it is to debate about something not being efficient. I do not understand that. From all accounts, he seems rather book smart – why can he not grasp that concept? You just wasted an hour telling a story about when you lived in Russia and then hand wrote (instead of emailing) 5 memos and delivered them personally but still think computers are for the birds? I have wasted about a half hour typing this, I've avoided "assualt by strangulation" charges (for now) and I didn’t offend anyone, either. Who's more efficient now?
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